I have Tonsillitis, I’m feeling sorry for myself, I can’t stomach real work, so I did this, in the child-like hope it will come true (today if possible). If anyone needs me I’ll be wallowing in my dream like world ruled by Disney characters and President Steve Jobs.

Why does everything come at once?
Why can’t people leave stuff how it was?
Why can’t people finish a bloody job?
Why do people leave stuff for days, weeks and months?
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Being sicks evidently makes me ratty :(
First of all I would like to apologise for being incredibly slow at kicking off this section - I’ve been getting distracted by my more arty professions. Anyway, having worked in the search industry commercially for well over six years I have a wealth of knowledge and experience to back my sometimes controversial opinions. So here goes…
This post was originally to be titled: “SEO: Myth, Hype, Fear & Very Little Fact” - however, I decided to make an effort to be more ‘glass half full’ as this post is not meant to insight further scare tactics but to help differentiate between real SEO’s and the frauds (i.e. companies/individuals that are trying to make lots of money by doing as little as possible).
The search engine optimisation industry is unfortunately swamped with inexperienced self-proclaimed companies and individuals longing and willing to find their next victims with very few experienced white hat SEO’s struggling to gain light amongst the weeds. These fakers cleverly fil the internet with myths and hype using scare tactics to compete against each other and gain innocent clients.
Three problems create a never ending circle of failure:
1) Designers, web hosts and marketing peeps delve into the world of SEO with no deep technical understanding of the underlying technologies, hoping to cash in on a (once easily) lucrative industry.
2) No official manual or course - SEO is open to interpretation which leads to a massive problem of finding the few facts in the massive hay stacks of fiction.
3) The customers have an even more warped view of search than their SEO’s - and most are willing to get traffic the quickest and cheapest way possible (two things which inevitably set the ball rolling to a rather depressing destination).
Finding the Talent

Personally I think all SEO’s should physically wear a white or black hat, but all joking aside here is a quick guide to finding a talented white hat SEO.
Now first of all Google might like to think it is God, but the search industry is actually much more than one man (or international corporation in this case). Just because Google says jump it doesn’t mean you should, common sense and experienced judgement is required for any decision. Stay clear of Google fanatics.
Warning signs strike alarm bells. I was disturbed to come across a company I used to work for and find their home page plastered with road warning signs. Apart from looking cheap and desperate they also give off the wrong SEO vibe. After all if someone keeps saying they’re not going to take your money, it usually means they are. Which leads me on to my next point…
In my opinion the only way to spot the good from the bad, is to find the SEO’s who can tell the hard truth, because when it all comes down to it SEO is actually quite simple. It’s all about getting everything and everyone singing in tune. The hard part is the tuning. In other words… (in a crudely tacky way) think of your SEO as Simon Cowell and your website as a contestant on X-Factor (Google). At the end of the day it’s the SEO’s responsibility to educate their clients and give them realistic expectations. “Harshness to me is giving somebody false hopes and not following through” Simon Cowell
So in conclusion, a good SEO is someone who has nothing to hide and can tell you the truth whilst backing it up with real experience and knowledge.
SEO’s Top Five Essential Skills
1) Common sense. The ability to know right from wrong is sometimes greatly underestimated. A very basic level of common sense is needed along with a (preferably big) set of ethics. This goes for the SEO and customer.
2) Technical knowledge. You can’t get everything (if anything) from an online tutorial or checklist and automated software simply doesn’t work. In order to technically optimise a website and make it sound for the search engines you need a professional web developer.
3) Continuous education & research. An SEO should take their education to a higher level and look at the industry as a whole - not just confine themselves to a small SEO bubble where only a few opinions and ideas are floated around. An SEO will also need to delve into all of their clients industries in order to fully understand them. Furthermore the SEO will need to educate their customers, which leads nicely on to the next point.
4) Patience & understanding. If you can’t be patient then the SEO game is a big no no for you. You need to have patience with the search engines and your customers, and you also need to be able to understand them. If you think like a search engine - you’ll be able to optimise a website to it’s full potential. If you think like your customer - you’ll be able to understand their objectives and negotiate to find a happy medium.
5) Analysis & the bigger picture. You need to be able to look at all of these things from every angle, see how they not only fit together but have effect each other. Only then will you will be able to get the best pitch.
Ditching the Bad SEO
You could try the old ‘Your Fired’ routine… )yep I really did just reference another popular culture TV program.)
Well it may not be raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens, but here are a few of my favourite - new - things…
iPhone 4

As to be expected, this evening (in our timezone at least) Apple announced iPhone 4. “This Changes Everything Again”. Now my iPhone 3G looks mega old and rubbish. A few major breakthroughs - a brilliantly high resolution screen, 5 megapixel camera front and back (with led flash and light censor on back), video chat on WiFi + HD video editing directly on phone. Sounds amazing. Looks amazing. Definite yes to upgrading - glad I skipped the 3GS now.
Torchwood - New Global Series

Purely by chance I visited the Torchwood site today to find announcement (dated today) that a new series has been commissioned by BBC Worldwide and the production team is to be led by none other than Russel T. Davies. John Barrowman returns as Capatain Jack Harkness, along with Eve Myles as Gwen Cooper and some new faces. Can’t wait.
HTML5 & CSS3
Although not particularly new - and still along way from being universal - HTML 5 and CSS3 have taken a notable leap forward, with Apple’s heavy backing (no doubt because they hate Flash). See this new page posted by Apple of just a taste of some of the amazing things we can’t yet do because all those (majority) Internet Explorer users can’t see yet: http://www.apple.com/html5/
For kicks see this neat site currently shows HTML5 readyness - even Safari 4 hasn’t ticked all the boxes yet, but it’s come along way. http://html5readiness.com/
Now who says I only post half naked men, funny videos and silly cartoons…
Eugene Says Hi! Apologies for the lack of postage, have been really bizzy!
What the World Needs Now is Love - My Piano Solo Cover. Recorded and edited with garage band from digital piano.
Playing around with Illustrator, first time in time. The power symbol, on it’s side :P
Off to Brighton for a couple of chill out days - cya l8rs! Don’t forget to vote Labour!
I hit one hundred posts without realising, so here’s some recognition to the 101 post of this particular re-incarnation of retronerd…
:)







